By Billy and Akaisha Kaderli, RetireEarlyLifestyle.com
Special to the Financial Independence Hub
I’m a little troubled.
Twice now in the last year, two friends of almost four decades have confided in me that they no longer have an interest in making new friendships. The man said “It’s too much work” and the other, a woman, said she is “without enthusiasm or desire for it.”
Couple that with the fact that my friends and I are all proceeding to the milestone age of 70.
Articles abound on how loneliness is an epidemic and adds to our health problems. Loneliness feeds on itself creating terrible self-talk (what do I have to offer? What would I talk about, anyway? It’s not safe to express an opinion, and besides I’m not up on the news …) that keeps us housebound.
A recent article about a study in the UK says hundreds of thousands of people often go a week without speaking to a single person. Nearly half of all the seniors interviewed said they’d feel more confident to head out each day if they knew their neighbors. This begs the question … why don’t we know our neighbours?
Why aren’t we looking into the eyes of people we live next to and giving them a smile? Or talking about the roses in their gardens, or the pup they walk daily?
Are we just so afraid of each other that we cannot afford to make small talk anymore? I have lived outside the US for many years now, and forgive me for asking … But is this chatting up a stranger considered impolite these days? Or hazardous?
Two more first-hand experiences
Some years back I witnessed two of my relatives in curious circumstances. One elderly aunt said “I don’t need any more friends. I have my husband, my church group, children and grandchildren. Why would I need more?”
To myself I responded “Do we have so many friends that we can’t squeeze in another one? Someone who can make us laugh, or teach us something? Who in the world has too many friends?”
Another elderly relative, on the way to breakfast after church, had a well-dressed gentleman say hello to her and something about “what a nice day it was” — and she was aghast.
She responded, “Do I know you? Why are you talking to me?”
To me this situation was incomprehensible. It seemed obvious that the man meant no harm and he was actually on the way to his car in the restaurant parking lot – right where we were – after finishing his morning meal.
Heads up here
If loneliness is the epidemic disaster that health studies say it is, then maybe we could prepare for this ahead of time.
Ask yourself how might we be part of our own problem here? Or if you are inclined to take action, I have a couple of suggestions below which you might find useful. Continue Reading…