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By Heather Compton
Special to the Financial Independence Hub
I have invested a lot of my lifetime learning, living, teaching and writing about healthy practises around money. When a young friend recently asked for some guidance on making peace with money, I wanted to fall back on those well learned strategies.
There are many practises that will bring some ease into your financial life. Living within your means, paying yourself first, getting your financial house in order: but you must lean into your own wisdom to bring peace. It’s an evolutionary, lifelong journey for all of us and I am moved by the struggles we all have with money and the false powers we grant it.
What we buy, what we invest in, what we purchase for others and what we choose to finance or contribute to can bring us peace or its polar opposite. What if we had a change of heart or a shift in worldview? A change of heart brings about a change of circumstance: that’s transformation. Changing our worldview means changing what you believe is true – do big houses, fancy cars, expensive wardrobes and larger paycheques really spell success, acceptance, power or freedom? Ask your authentic self that question.
The Heart test
We are all vulnerable to ambitions that disregard the balance and wisdom of our intuitive hearts. What if every spending decision had to pass through your heart before you pulled out your wallet? Would you spend differently?
When we use our resources in ways that truly meet our authentic and universal needs for connection, integrity, joy, inspiration, physical well-being, meaning and choice, we find a path to peace. That’s when money is in service to us and not the other way around. Money is an admirable servant but a terrible boss.
Lining up money’s flow with our authentic self and using it as a direct expression of our values and our vision is simple but it’s not easy. It requires daily discipline to follow the practises that are the gateway to peace.
Our relationship with money
Some suggest we can’t really be in relationship with money because it’s inanimate. Well, I won’t argue with that, but I will suggest a healthy or “right relationship” with money shares some of the same qualities as any healthy relationship.
Think of the words you might use to define a healthy relationship with people you care about. My list would include respect, consistency and commitment, honesty and partnership, responsibility, generosity and generative. I would look for compromise, healthy boundaries, mutual understanding and support.
What about the words that reflect unhealthy relationships? The list might include abuse, carelessness and disrespect, drama and dysfunction or resentment and embarrassment. Do any of these words ring a bell in your current relationship with your finances?
Building a rich life does take a relationship with financial matters and a healthy respect for how to use this tool you’ve traded your life energy for. I believe a harmonious, peaceful relationship with money is individually hand-crafted, wisdom-based and heart-driven. Kinda like your relationship with your Valentine!
Heather Compton retired from a career as vice president and senior investment advisor with a major financial services firm and husband Dennis Blas, from IT management positions. Both have extensive experience in personal development and life skills programs.
Heather remains engaged in financial and lifestyle issues in her roles as presenter and facilitator of pre-retirement and financial literacy programs; Dennis continues to use his talents as technical guru in supporting Heather’s work. They are co-authors of “Retirement Still Rocks – Canadian Boomers Invest in Life” available from Amazon.ca. See their website at www.retirementrocks.ca
